"Down A Different Road"
Part 3
by Beryll
Darkness. Utter complete, purple darkness...
Shouldn't darkness be black? Don't remember. Floating. Wondering. Is this
death? Would have expected... what? Something, anything, nothing...
Wouldn't know, if there was nothing, would I? Maybe this is supposed to
be nothing...? Would have expected a better nothing...
"...healing well..." "...don't know, my Lord..." "...should have..." "...doesn't want to..."
Remembering. Remember him. Would have prefered nothing to this. Don't want to see those eyes. Don't want to see the hurt. Let me go, please let me go...
"...forgive me..." "...was so blind..." "...son..."
Go away! Don't want to hear this. It's not real. I'm dead. Let me rest. Let me go...
"...getting weaker..." "...can't help, my
Lord..."
"NO. No, this can not be. He has to live. He can not die NOW."
Aragorn...? Please, don't sound so hurt. This is for the better. Just let me go. Let go...
"I won't allow it, you hear me?! I just won't allow it. He can't leave me..."
Have mercy... I have died for you, is that not enough? Can you not just let me be? I can feel it now... so close... the darkness is so warm, so welcoming... let me forget...
"Out! Leave us alone! Leave me alone..."
"...my Lord..."
"OUT!!"
I am sorry, love... This is for the better... Remember me as your shield, as your blade, your warrior... True to his king... Let me die... You must never know...
"Oh, Boromir, how can you do this to me...?"
"It is my own fault. I brought this on myself. Forgive me... Forgive
me, for not telling you, what is in my heart. Now I find courage to tell you,
but you can not hear. Forgive me..."
"Wish I had listened to my beautiful Arwen when she told me, how fragile
life can be... Wish I hold told you, the day I first laid eyes on you..."
What are you saying...? So far away and you still call me back. Don't say those words, they are not true. Oh death, will you torture me, with my dreams? With what I can never have now? What have I done to deserve punishment like this? Did I not serve my king...?
"Valar, hear me, please, forgive... I know now my own cowardice... I beg, give me one more chance... Let him hear me. Let him hear, how much I love him... I swear, I will mourn him forever... But let him know, how much I craved his love... I know he cannot love me back, but let him know at least... I will give anything, everything..."
NO! No, this is not real. I am dead. This is not real...
"I love you..."
Wetness... wetness on my face... Aragorn...? Darkness. Purple darkness... Pain... There should be no pain in death... My body hurt... My heart hurts.... Aragorn...? Love...? Don't cry... Oh, please, don't cry for me...? His hand on my face, caressing, so gently. I know that touch. Have felt it in my dreams so very often. Is this real?
A weight on my chest. His head, resting on my chest. I can feel him breath. Irregular with crying. His arms holding me. This is real...?
I open my eyes slowly. There is pain. Pain where the dagger pierced my armor. Much more pain in my heart. How can it hurt so much? How can his sadness hurt me so much more than any dagger ever could. How can I stay dead, when he is hurt? This is real.
I stare at the ceiling. White. The scent of herbs and flowers
in the air. Where am I? Oh, right, Minas Tirith. Houses of Healing I would
guess. Seems I did not die after all.
I move carefully, not knowing how bad my wound is. Oh so carefully wrapping
my arms around the man, holding me. The man, who is still crying silently.
He does not notice at first, so lost is he in his sadness. Then he realizes.
His head rises from my chest. He looks at me, his eyes still full of tears,
now filling with wonder. "Boromir...?" His voice so close to breaking
I can not bear it.
I hold him, never to let go. "You live...?" As if that was not obvious
now. How come, my proud and wise king is suddenly out of words? I want to
tell him, I'm alright. Want to tell him, I love him. Want to finally say it,
but I seem to be out of words as well.
Then he moves, embarrassed, brushing the tears from his eyes, putting on his
stoic mask again. It does not fool me now. I have heard, my king. You can
not hide from me now.
"Aragorn." I almost don't recognize my own voice, so tired, so coarse.
He tries to sit up, but I won't let him. "I'm sorry." he whispers.
"I'm so sorry. I did not wish to burden you with this. With my emotions
for you. Especially not like this..."
How very stupid of him. Does he not see, it is his love, that has called me
back? I will have to show him then...
I put my hand behind his head, pull him down to me. I feel his breath on my
face, then feel him holding his breath, not believing. See him closing his
eyes to make it real. Then I kiss him. His lips are just like I thought they
would be. Not soft and pliant like a woman's but strong, resisting. I thought
they would be sweet, but they taste of his tears. Salty.
I look at his face, while I kiss him. Slowly, softly at first, getting a feel
for him, then parting my own lips, licking his, licking his tears away. I
see this brows move, as if he is deep in thought, trying to find something
important he can not remember. I probe his lips with my tongue carefully,
watching his face. A small tremble runs trough his body, then his lips part
slowly, allowing me into his mouth.
There is sweetness. He tastes of smoke. Has been smoking again, I think and
smile into our kiss. How wonderful to know, why he is, what he is. I explore
his mouth. My tongue touches his, and suddenly he wakes up, kisses me back
with urgency. Draws my breath from my lungs and gives me back his own. Invades
my mouth as well.
I hold him closer. Close my eyes as well. Feel his body pressed against mine,
feel his heat, feel his heartbeat. Feel alive. He bites my lower lip. Carefully,
not really sure of himself. I hear a low moan, realizing it is my own, when
he bites harder. His heat is touching me somehow, surging into my body, making
fire run down my spine. I want him. Oh, how long I have wanted this.
His tongue moves into my mouth again and I hold it this time, sucking, first
gently, then harder when he tries to take it back, not letting go, holding
him prisoner. I feel him smile against my mouth. That makes me let go. I follow
his tongue with my own and he captures it in turn. We play. A bit like swords
practice of a very different kind. I could kiss him forever. But I want more.
I open my eyes and I release my hold on his neck. He opens his eyes as well,
still kissing me softly, his eyes locking with mine. I fall into those eyes.
Those beautiful eyes. My king, my lover, how can you be so beautiful?
Then our lips part. His face is only an inch from mine. We just look at each
other, trying to find an answer to our questions. 'What now?' his eyes ask.
'More' mine must have said, for he kisses me again. Only this time, he only
graces my lips for a moment, one of his hands now caressing my face, brushing
hair from my eyes. Then his kisses move lower. I let my head fall back, offer
my throat, as a wolf would to the victor in a fight. He kisses me, his tongue
whispering over my skin, his breath catching now and again. I close my eyes
again.
He showers me with his kisses. Licks my throat, nibbling at my ears, fluttering
over my closed eyelids. I give him full reign over my body, let him play me.
He knows it. He hides his face in my hair, his lips pressed to my neck. I
feel his smile against my skin.
I let my hands wander over his back and he becomes still, anticipating. I
touch him carefully, savoring every moment. Let my fingers creep under his
shirt. Marvel in that first touch. His skin is warm, softer than the softest
leather, but not silky at all. A shudder runs through his body and he gently
bites my neck, as if he is trying to urge me on. I will not let him hurry
me. I want to take this slowly. I want to remember this forever.
My hands move under his shirt: I feel his muscles move beneath his skin in
concert with my roaming hands. I let them wander lower, for just a moment,
let them creep inside his pants as well, feel the beginning of the curve of
his buttocks. He shivers again, this time biting harder. I pull back my hands,
caress his back again and he sighs soundlessly against my neck.
His skin is smooth against my fingertips. I find his scars. A small on, where
an arrow must have pierced his shoulder long ago, for it is almost completely
faded. One on his flank, disappearing into his pants. A sword-cut , maybe?
One, two, three running almost parallel over his back. Unfamiliar. A very
small one on his neck. That one must have been a close call.
He rests on top of me, his breathing even now. How much I love you, my beautiful
king. But I will have to disturb you now. I turn my lips to his ears. "Take
your shirt of." I whisper. "Let me see you." He moves slowly,
reluctantly, sits up, looks down at me. There is still doubt in his eyes.
"You sure you want this?" he asks. I smile at that. "A little
late to stop now." I answer, desire creeping into my voice.
A hint of surprise, then he smiles as well with a hint evil. He raises his
arms and peels his shirt from his body oh so slowly. I savor every inch of
his skin, appearing. He pulls the shirt over his head, then sits there, eyes
closed. I know he wants me to touch him again. I indulge him gladly. Let my
fingers explore his front now. Find the matching scar from the arrow.
He is exactly like I expected. Not like me at all. I compare him to a fierce
predatory cat, all lean, power barely hidden beneath his skin. And me? More
like a bear. My fingers brush one of his nipples and his mouth opens slightly
to let a sigh escape. You like that? I try again and feel it harden beneath
my fingertips. I watch his face, while I play with it, rubbing it softly,
plucking it, then caressing it again. He has caught his lower lip between
his teeth, chewing it absently while his concentration is on what I do.
I let my hands roam lower again, traveling the rim of his navel, feeling his
silky hair their, following that trail even lower. His breath catches again.
Oh, you do want this too, don't you? Not yet my love, not yet. I ignore what
I can see growing in his breeches. Instead I caress his legs. So much strength
there. Legs made for running.
I remember Moria, remember the first time, I truly saw you fight. You move
with the grace of a dancer. Wish I could have just stood there watching you.
You make killing orcs a form of art, every movement so efficient, turning,
twisting, your blade here and there, your eyes blazing with contained fury.
I want that passion now. Want that blaze. Want your fire.
Now my fingers tremble, as they move up your legs again. I can not draw this
out any longer. I need to touch you. Need to see all of you. Unlacing your
breeches is more difficult than I expected. You are no help either. Just sitting
there. Are you really holding your breath now? Oh, Valar, how to do this?
I want to kiss you again, but that has to wait now.
There. I feel your hardness through the cloth, then my fingers can travel
closer. Strange, how soft that skin feels. So different from the rest of your
body. I close my eyes, learn you by touch alone. I want to compare, want to
see how you differ from me. Bigger? No, not really, a little longer maybe.
A pulsing vein on the underside. The head defined. I let my fingertips whisper
over you, your whole body is so tense now.
And you are hard. So stiff I can not bend you at all. Just like your will.
I curl my fingers around you, squeezing gently. A hiss escapes you, your hand
wandering now as well, unsure at first, than finding a way under the blankets.
You are at an advantage here, me being unclad except for the bandage on my
wound.
I grab you harder, starting to move my fingers up and down slowly. You questing
hand goes straight to my groin. No time for sweet caresses now. You need to
know. Yes. Oh dear heavens, touch me. Your fingers find my own hardness and
recoil briefly. Come back immediately eager to feel. What did you expect?
That I would stay unmoved by your desire? Surely not.
For a while we play each other. Moving like dancers, slowing, picking up pace
in union. I feel you getting closer, I feel myself approaching the edge.
No. Not like this. I still want more. I keep my fingers curled around you
but stop my movement, opening my eyes again. A small sound of sorrow escapes
you and I almost start moving again, almost let my control slip. But I want
more of you. I need you. Need you to rule my body, to take control of me,
need to give myself to you.. Need you to make me truly alive again.
You open your eyes. Looking at me questioningly. Then you realize, what I
want and my heart wrenches when I see doubt again. How can you still doubt
me? Now I don't only want to, I have to. To make you believe. You draw breath
to speak. To tell me some stupid reason I don't want to hear. I will not let
you spoil our love now.
Before you can give your doubts more reality by voicing them, I draw you down
to me again, tasting your lips again. You almost struggle. Almost. But not
quite. So there is one victory won. I kiss you with all my desire, will you
to understand why this must be. I can hear your objections, even if you don't
voice them. You are feeling unworthy. So what, so do I. You fear for my injuries.
Rubbish, I have survived and I am not going to die now, of all times.
Then you give in. As suddenly as than, you melt against my body, touching
me everywhere. Your fingers are fevered now, leaving trails of fire, where
they touch me. I kiss you, I pull at your breeches. I need you. Need you NOW.
Pain. Oh dear Valar, that hurt. Pulling you against me to hard. Your head
snaps up, your eyes filling with immeasurable worry. I smile, despite the
pain. How can you be so sweet? "Is alright." I whisper. "Have
to move carefully." There is some reproach in your eyes now, mixed with
a fair amount of mirth. No doubt at all. Relief floods through me. So you
know at last.
You sit up smiling and I do not fear you will run from me now. You pull of
your breeches quickly, slide beneath the sheets with me. Still your eyes never
leave mine. So full of love they shine like stars. You mold your body against
mine, entwining our legs, your head resting on my chest again. I see where
you are going. You do not intent to let me move again. If that is what you
wish, my king, I shall surely not argue.
You rest your hand over my wound, as if you could make it mend by your touch
alone. Your other hands roams lower, caressing my legs, brushing against my
hardness now and again. Not teasing, just not concentrating. Then your legs
pull mine apart slowly. Yes, lover. I hold my breath now, while your fingers
cup my balls, then wander lower still.
I gasp, when you first touch my entrance and you move away again. Not shy
now, just playing me well. Oh please, don't make me wait any longer, please.
You brush me again, your fingers carefully tracing the rim of muscle. A shiver
runs through me, I clench my eyes shut, fingers of one hand digging into your
shoulder. Please.
You probe me carefully, my comfort so prominent in your heart it makes me
dizzy with love. I want this, I have never wanted anything as much in my life.
One of your fingers slips into me, I let my head fall back, will myself to
relax, tension now only in my straining hardness. You feel it too. You breath
catches in surprise, then you move your finger inside of me, your thumb brushing
my balls now and again. You add a second finger, stretching me now, more preparing
than caressing. I feel your hardness against my tight, pulsing in need.
But you take your time. Caressing me again, pushing deeper into my body. I
hear myself moaning now, moving beneath you, wanting to take you in further.
You hold me still. Stretch me more, add another finger. This is pure torture.
I want you inside of me. I need you so much. My whole body is quivering in
anticipation. You feel it. I know you do. You enjoy teasing me, you bastard.
Do you want to hear me beg?
"Please" just a whisper, I can not manage more now, my control completely
gone. But it is enough. You rise your head from my chest, I feel you move,
but I cannot open my eyes, all my attention is fixed between my legs. Your
legs brush mine, I feel you so close now, the tip of your hardness brushing
mine, then moving deeper, brushing my entrance. Will you get on with it! Take
me!
Instead you curl your hand around my erection again. I arch into your touch,
now oblivious to the pain from my wound. You pump me slowly, make me feel
every movement, brush your thumb of the tip of my hardness, making my harder
still. My whole world contracts to this feeling of your hand around me. I
feel fragile, close to shattering.
Then you move. I only realize what you are doing, when you have entered me
already. The tip of your hardness inside of me, your hand going still around
my own. You wait, trying to see, if I'm alright. How can you be so... respectful?
A deep moan rumbling in my chest, I open my eyes, look at you. The desire
in my eyes is all the reassurance you needed. You move forward, pushing into
me, filling me. This is bliss. Oh beloved Aragorn, move slowly, I beg, or
I will come right now. You seem to know, maybe even feel the same.
The feeling of you inside of me is incredible. You stretch me, fill every
bit of me. Not only your hardness inside of my body, but your soul taking
mine. I want to belong to you. Want you to own every bit of me. Want you to
love every bit of me. And you do.
Then you are all the way in. Again there is a bit of worry in your eyes. I
reach up to your face with a shaking hand. Brush my finger over your lips.
You know I love you. Now move.
And you do. Pulling out slowly but almost all the way, then sliding back into
me till you are completely buried inside of me again. Your hand is still curled
around my hardness, but it is forgotten for now, as you close your eyes, reveling
in the feeling of me. I see your control slipping. Hear you moan as well,
as you thrust into me again.
I watch you take me. Watch myself be taken. This is the most exquisite thing
I have ever experienced. Wish this would never end. Wish to keep you inside
me forever. Slowly you pick up the pace. Your movements getting rougher, more
urgent. And I feel it building inside of me as well. With every thrust you
tack me a bit higher. Like searing golden light, spreading through my body.
This is incredible. So different from anyone I have ever lain with. I can
see exactly where I'm going. It's almost, as if I was in the middle of orgasm
already. The feeling of getting closer better than actually being there. Your
hand moves on my erection again, but that is not important anymore. Even if
you were yanked away from me now, I could not stop.
Almost there. Almost... NOW
I scream my release for anyone to hear and I could not care less. In fact,
I want the whole world to hear. Everything shatters. I can not see, I can
not hear, I can not breath...
You are still here with me, completely spend you collapse on top of me and
my arms curl around of their own. Your breaths are ragged and I feel tears
running down your face. Tears of happiness. Let this never stop. Let me be
with you forever.
"I love you." you murmur against my chest. "I love you. Never
leave me again." "Never." I promise. And I mean it with all
my heart.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Beryll
go to PART 4
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